As a guy who has been on almost 400 first dates, without exception at a bar or restaurant, I certainly have had plenty of experience with paying checks. I wrote an article awhile back about one particular first date where I fought with a woman over who should pay the check. I want to give you my thoughts and also share with you 7 reasons why men don’t want to pay on the first date as told to me by hundreds of women.
In fact, it is a conversation that comes up literally on almost every first date, that is, women telling me the reasons a guy wouldn’t pay on a first date that they had been on.
Before I get to my feelings and how I handle first dates, lets see what some other folks say. CNBC just published an article where Lizzie Post of The Emily Post Institute weighed in. Yes, the same Emily Post that taught us what side of the plate to put our forks. They believe the person who asks for the date should be responsible for the check. This does leave open the possibility of asking to split the tab.
The Huff Post recently did an article relying on a survey conducted by Money and SurveyMonkey that said 78% believed that the man should pay. However, several other dating experts believed more along the lines of The Emily Post Institute.
What I think, and what I have always done, almost without exception is pick up the tab. I do believe it is a man’s responsibility.
I have heard lots of crazy stories from women that I met about the excuses guys gave as to why they were not going to pay the check. Here are 7 reasons why men don’t want to pay on the first date according to women I met. I have actually put them in the order of number of times I have heard the same story.
- He didn’t think we had chemistry, so he felt he was not obligated to pay
- He felt I misrepresented myself claiming I don’t look like my pictures
- He made it clear that we should split the check as I am supposedly an independent woman
- He thought I should pay since I chose the place where we met
- He didn’t realize the place where we met was so expensive
- He felt that since I have a better job that I can afford it
- And the lame one – He was in a rush to be on time for the date and forgot his wallet
As I said above, I found this topic to be a great one for a first date as I believe, as the survey above said, that most women like that a guy is willing to pay without question. This goes along with my story about building a woman’s trust in you, which My One Amor decided not to publish due it being viewed as a guide on how to take advantage of women.
I think the take away here is that this is a personal choice. Although, I might add in some cases a woman could feel that that the man perceives that she owes him something if he pays. For me, I will keep paying. And do find the stories I continue to hear very entertaining about the 7 reasons why men don’t want to pay on the first date.