One of the most talked about topics after people connect on a dating app and agree to talk, is the first call. The Bumble app makes it easy with both call and video chat functions built in. However, Hinge has neither. Having dating app first call success is a widely discussed topic but if you’re looking for a serious relationship, there are a couple of things you should try to establish on that first call.
Some chatter on message boards, dating advice sites and even AI, tend to lean toward keeping the call short, like 20-30 minutes. Most seem to advise don’t ask a lot of questions, which can make it feel like a job interview. However, after talking with several people who have actually gotten into relationships over the past two years, there seems to be a more proven path to success.
Let’s begin with what your intentions are. Are you looking for a serious relationship or just trying to see where things go ?
If you are a see where things go mindset then, the substance or length of the call really doesn’t matter. This pace will just take its own course. Generally, this does not lead to a good connection or relationship. Can be some fun dates but not much else.
On the other hand, if you’re looking for a serious relationship and don’t want to waste a lot of your time then here is what seems to work, according to eight couples we talked to who recently got into relationships. Three are engaged, five live together now and one recently got married.
The most important part of the first call is to establish what both of your dating intentions are. More specifically:
- Are you going to focus on one person at a time ?
- Are ready right now for a serious committed relationship ?
- Do your schedules align for being able to see each other on a regular basis ?
- Do your basic lifestyles align; physical activity, food, leisure, drinking, smoking and family ?
If you don’t sync on the above, you may want to pass if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
The next part of the first call should show interest in the basics of each other’s life:
- Where are you from, what do you do for work ?
- Children, how many, ages, where are they or custody ?
- Mother and father, alive, where do they live, etc. ?
- Siblings, how is your relationship with them ?
And the big one in today’s world, the basics of politics. This can end the call for some.
The above should flow back and forth in a conversation and can be in any order.
But probably the most important, is to see if the person has sense of humor. Maybe a joke about a weird first date experience.
Try to avoid talking about an ex unless specifically asked and try to balance any information sharing evenly. If this turns into an hour or longer conversation, that is a positive thing.
While some people are split on this, the reason they put a video function in apps like Bumble and Match is to avoid being catfished. And yes, definitely try to video chat next, before meeting. If someone backs away from that, it’s probably a red flag.
If all goes well then maybe the talk about kissing on a first date could be another topic of discussion.
And if you’re burned out on dating apps, try a matchmaker. For ladies, Love Boss Matchmaking is free nationwide.
Any comments on this article, send us an email at info@myoneamor.com.
Dating App First Call Success
