Many women who are single are so because they came out of abusive relationships. The abuse can be physical or mental. Unfortunately the women can carry this baggage into a new relationship. Here are 6 signs that a woman is playing a victim in relationships.
Many women who are victims of abuse feel that they are ok when getting into a new relationship but aren’t. Without exception they don’t feel or believe they are victims but they are.
Here some signs:
- Women are triggered by subtle events that causes them to shut down. Something as simple as thinking the new person they are with may react the same way as a previous abuser in a similar situation. An example is a previous abuser became angry when a gas pump or an ATM didn’t work. The woman shuts down anticipating that the new person will become angry even though they don’t.
- Women who believe that a new relationship should always be fun and exciting. Life isn’t perfect and when getting to know someone, there can be little disagreements. An example is telling someone about preferences with texts, like emojis or terms of endearment is taken negatively. The victim doesn’t want to talk through it for the betterment of the relationship but sees it as an attack.
- Women who say they are all in and want a serious relationship but ignore what the new person says. In any new relationship people talk about deal breakers, boundaries, and preferences. The victim ignores those conversations and just does what they want. An example is a new person may like to text “good morning” and loves to hear that in return. The victim ignores the good morning text or just starts with some unrelated text in the morning.
- Women are not comfortable with the typical baby, sweetie, or honey, etc. terms of endearment. This is an interesting one. The women want the new person to use the terms of endearment when addressing them but don’t reciprocate. And when asked to, they again see it as an attack.
- Women always want the man to take the lead. The relationship is never a team or balanced. While this may sound like a nice traditional gentlemanly thing, the women then may be critical of the man. An example is a man plans an evening which the victim likes but afterwards says the opposite. Or the woman says we should have talked about it even though the man did share.
- Women who have dramatic changes in how they feel about the direction of a relationship. This is different from being fickle. A victim continually talks about how wonderful the new person is and even may claim to be in love. But when anyone of the above triggers happens, they suddenly say things like “were moving too fast” or this is “unhealthy”.
At Dating Coach Live, we commonly hear from both men about some or all of the 6 signs that a woman is playing a victim in relationships. We’d love to hear from you.
