When it comes to online dating there are clearly several categories of people. Depending on what you are looking for, your approach to messaging will be very important. There are some easy ways to avoid an online dating pen pal. That is someone who just wants to perpetually message with no real intention of ever giving out a phone number or actually planning on meeting in person. There is definitely a secret to finding someone who wants a relationship. By learning this you will master a way to avoid wasting time and hopefully finding someone who wants a relationship. Like everything else it’s not 100% but it does work most of the time.
I have messaged well over 1000 women online, talked to over 500 on the phone and met 312 so far.
When you first message someone on a dating app or site like match.com or POF, read their profile and reference some part of it in your message. If the person says they like adventure or the outdoors, mention that you enjoy that too. Keep your first message short as you want to see if they reply at all.
If they reply then ask their name, if they didn’t provide it, in your next message along with answering any specific points in their first reply to you. Again, keep it short.
In your third message, tell them you are glad to meet them, talk a little more of yourself and things you may have in common. Next, very important, ask if they want to text / talk to you on the phone.
Here is where it gets interesting and you begin to know what category of person you are communicating with and if you have encountered an online dating pen pal.
The most obvious, will just stop communicating and ghost you. That is a person who has absolutely no interest in getting to know anyone and may be a total fraud or not really be single.
The next general category will write back and say they want to message more so you definitely have a potential online pen pal on your hands.
The next will give some convoluted explanation of bad experiences they had with giving out their number including, stalkers, people who sent naked pics, said inappropriate things, etc. This person may very well be damaged so better you found out right away.
And finally, a real genuine person who wants to talk and meet, who says yes. Success. You exchange numbers and have avoided an online dating pen pal.