Relationship Advice

Fundamental Flaws With Starting A New Relationship

Published on May 16, 2021

You meet someone and everything seems amazing at first. First date perfect, conversation perfect, attraction, definitely got it. You go out again and it still seems like this is the one. You both get more comfortable and learn more about each other. Where does it go wrong ? We all know you put your best foot forward in a relationship, but what happens when you get too comfortable too quickly ? Here are the fundamental flaws with starting a new relationship.

Assuming you are in a committed relationship and letting yourself be yourself shouldn’t be a bad thing. You shouldn’t take a new relationship for granted no matter how easy it seems. I have a lot of people tell me everything was going great and then one day it stopped. So what happened? Treating someone like a life partner too soon is not a good thing for an early relationship. Even for a long term relationship, too much future talk can be unhealthy. Keeping things fun and going that extra step to get dressed nice and making your partner feel special goes a long way.

When you give up on the extra step it may make your partner or the person you are dating not feel appreciated. Giving up impressing someone can be a very slippery slope. It can show that you may not have been who you were portraying when you first met.

I’ve had many clients tell me stories of this happening to them. One scenario was a man had several lovely dates with a woman. Initially she was thin and tried her best to be impressing him, eating healthy and going to the gym. After just 4 dates the woman had stopped going to the gym and was noticeably gaining weight. The fun times at the bar became places to pig out on bar food.

The man had addressed this with her very nicely only to be retorted with her opinion of being worth it. So, what went wrong is what you see is what you don’t get. A lot of people have said that someone will like you for who you are. To be fair this is true, but not at an unrealistic level. If you enjoy being a couch potato and not taking care of yourself it will catch up. This reflects negatively on your relationship and more importantly yourself.