Keeping the romance alive in a relationship can be an arduous task. You live together, work together as a team and keep the stability of everyday life perfect. How do you keep the spark when everyday tasks become mundane but necessary? Working, cooking, cleaning, getting the kids to school and extracurricular activities. Not to mention walking the dog, the list doesn’t end. Lets talk about spending quality time in your relationship.
Quality time is needed to keep you and your partner connected on the relationship level.
It can be something simple like having a night in with take out and a movie, or a date night. There’s no real rules for what quality time is to each couple. Just something that has to be done between the two of you and the two of you alone. While it is important to spend time with friends and family as a couple. It allows you to get to know a different part of that person, it is also important to spend time alone together.
In order to incorporate more quality time, you may have to say no to some group activities.
Even though you’ll be missing out on some fun, think about all the joy you will gain by spending quality time with your partner. It’s not so much about where you go or what you do, but how you make each other feel while doing it.
Recently a client of mine had an issue with her partner neglecting quality time. We’ll call them Jane and John. John was out of the house 12 hours a day 6 days a week with work. His one day off was always tied up with scheduling an activity with friends or family. After several weeks of this, Jane had asked him for a date one night only to be turned down because of a last minute decision to invite his brother to dinner.
John accused her of trying to separate him from his family and friends when she had only wanted a few hours of quality time with him alone. John said that it was still a date even with his brother tagging along. This left Jane feeling very frustrated and unappreciated.
Thankfully there is a happy ending to this story. John compromised and had his brother come after he had taken Jane out for a date. They all ended up having a nice night together and the relationship was strengthened. Simple requests from a partner should not be ignored, a little affection and acknowledgement goes a long way.
Quality time is all about mindfully spending time together in order to show your appreciation and affection for one another, and increase connection and intimacy in your relationship.
It means not just sitting in the same room at the same time, but actively choosing to make time for each other and for your relationship.
It’s not so much about where you go or what you do, but how you make each other feel while doing it. Quality time is all about how you spend the time that you have together. No matter what you are doing, if you are attentive and focused, your partner will feel loved.