You found someone new on a dating app and are getting ready to meet. We’ve written about all the things you should ask before that first date. Now you have been on a date or two and it starts to change. Are you guilty of ghostbusting or cricketing after meeting someone new ?
So what is ghostbusting ? It’s not those saviors of humanity with the electric pulse shooting backpacks who get slimed. Its actually what can happen when you ghost someone.
You really like someone after the first date or two and suddenly they’re gone, poof. You’ve been ghosted. But what if you just started texting them over and over again as if you are carrying on a long lasting one way conversation. We’ll you are now ghostbusting. They ghosted you and you’re still talking like nothing ever happened.
I get it, when you get ghosted, you may reach out once or twice, but this is different, you don’t stop. What usually happens next is the person blocks your number, they finally have the courage to tell you that they’re done for whatever reason or the worst they accuse you of being a stalker. Yikes.
So perhaps the best part of being a ghostbuster is you’ll bring what happened to some form of closure. And for some people they need that. I have always been straight and told someone who I met that I wasn’t interested. I think ghosting is just rude.
So what about cricketing ? I guess one could call it a cousin to breadcrumbing with a difference. With breadcrumbing, the intention is to just make the messages or texts longer and longer apart till the person goes away. Here a ghostbuster could maybe call the person out and try to keep the conversation going.
Cricketing is where you just take a long time to answer a text or message consistently. The intention is not to breadcrumb the person away but just to keep them interested enough to hang on. Kind of like the old feeding the stray cat. Feed it enough, and it will always come back.
So ghostbusting almost makes obvious sense since it may be that you just want to know what happened or just feel that you are getting under the other person’s skin for ghosting you but why would one cricket someone ?
The answer may be a little more subtle. What happens a lot with dating apps and online dating is people want to one up you. That is they are always looking to see if they can do better but don’t want to lose what they already have. It really does suck and it seems men are definitely more guilty of this.
I for one see cricketing as total disrespect. If you message or text someone, it’s just common courtesy to reply in a reasonable time. I totally understand that there are times when someone can’t reply right away but I’m talking about someone who does it continuously and when you ask why they do it ? The reply is always something like, “are you needy ?” or “I am very busy”. I call bull shit on both and say bye bye.
Its 2018 and technology is the way to meet new people for sure, but are you guilty of ghostbusting or cricketing after meeting someone new ? It does seem like the new dating trends will never end just like new technology.