I have been on my fair share of first dates. I have done both the coffee meet and greet as well as a couple hour date. It really depends on the person you are talking to and what they want. If I had a personal choice, I would talk awhile and get to know someone a little before meeting. Here are 5 things women should ask before meeting for a first date (based on my experience).
1. How long since their last relationship ended ?
This can lead to the question how long the last relationship was. If a person just ended their relationship very recently (like the last couple of weeks), the odds are they are not emotionally available for a new relationship. And that recent ex could possibly return back into their life. So unless you just are looking to meet people for free dinners or just like meeting people in general then its probably best to pass on someone who just recently got out of a relationship.
2. How much free time do they have to get to know someone new ?
If you are looking for a relationship, you need to spend time with someone to get to know them. What can happen is when someone is single after a relationship ends, they may fill their life up with lots of activities. If someone says they only have one day a week available or every other weekend, then you may want to think is seeing someone maybe 3-4 days in a month enough time to really get to know them ? I personally would pass on someone that didn’t have at least 2 days a week available for dating.
3. How do they feel about being exclusive ?
This may be one of those deal breakers for sure, certainly in my mind. If you are serious about getting into a relationship, you want to get to know someone. To do that you can’t be thinking about 2 or 3 other people that you’re dating. I know lots of people who met the love of their life through online dating and dating apps. They all told me, they saw one person at a time and focused on each one exclusively.
4. How long do they feel about kissing on the first date ?
Now if you’re going out for a one hour meet and greet this may not apply. But if you talked a couple of times or even Face Timed with someone (so no catfish issues) and are planning a longer first date, this can be an important question. A guy may open up about how he feels about sex (which could give you a clue if he is serious or just wants sex). For a woman, girls if you like a guy and are attracted, then kiss him on the first date. It doesn’t mean you’re having sex on the first date. Lots of guys have told me that if they had a great first date and the woman didn’t at least kiss goodnight, they saw it as a negative thing.
5. How do they feel about talking vs texting ?
We all text, cause its easy and we may be unable to talk on the phone at a given moment. But if texting is someone’s primary form of communication, it may be a red flag. When you text, you can’t hear emotion which is important to really understand how a person is reacting. If someone sent a text LOL, does it mean their smiling or laying on the ground gasping for air laughing or something in between. The inflections in a person’s voice and the flow of a conversation will let you know more about a person then any written communication. And the big one, a person who texts all the time may be hiding something like another person in their life etc.
What I say is these 5 things women should ask before meeting for a first date could make the difference in you being on your way to a relationship or spinning your wheels.