As the guy My One Amor has nicknamed Dating Addict, I have learned a number of things so read this carefully. This will help you attract people when you use online dating apps (like match.com or POF) and help get you a hook up or a relationship and everything in between.
Attention guys and ladies: As a person who has met over 300 women from online dating and is still very active meeting people almost daily, Let me tell you what you MUST put in your profiles. This will definitely help you attract what may be the perfect person. I am currently on match.com and POF so I see profiles daily. I know you have read lots of expert advice, even from the dating sites themselves, but are they out there meeting people every day ? The answer is NO. So why not listen to someone who has met hundreds of people with success ?
First for the pictures. This is CRITICAL as it’s the first impression and means the difference if someone looks further or swipes left.
GUY PICTURES (match.com or POF):
No shirt off pictures (without exception), the majority of the 500 women I spoke to on the phone said they DON’T like shirt off pictures. If you’re a gym rat then tell them that in your profile not pictures.
If you are bald, show it. Don’t wear baseball caps in every picture. Women know it
DON’T wear sunglasses in every picture. Women want to see your eyes
SMILE – You must post a picture of your smile. First you look happy and women want to be sure you have teeth. They think a lot about kissing and where their tongue may be going. If you have bad teeth you better seek out women who also have bad teeth. Trust me. It’s a big deal to women. So if you’re on match.com or POF, time to smile
Make sure you have at least once clear current close up and one full body shot
If you have kids or a dog, have a picture together. Women love that
DON’T put pictures of your car, boat, house or even more importantly fishing or hunting. It CREEPS women out. If you’re a sportsman talk about it in your profile.
Post pictures over a period of time, no more than 3 years
Don’t post more than 6 pictures. You are providing a sample not a biography
LADIES PICTURES (match.com or POF)
Close up face pictures that are clear (no bright light behind or blurry pictures) Nothing will make me swipe left faster than a blurry picture. Show how you actually look !
FULL BODY SHOT. Guys want to see a woman’s body. If you are overweight, then that is who you are. Getting a guy to talk to you only to then catfish him in person will accomplish nothing and will be a big waste of your time. TRUST ME . Just got catfished by a woman who was easily 50 pounds heavier about 2 weeks ago. Most guys can handle 10 – 20 pounds but 50+ is in catfish territory.
Same as with the guys, pictures of you and your kids and/or pets
SMILE – Although guys may not be as worried about your teeth, you want to appear happy not like someone looking for a fight. I have commented to women online about no smiling pictures and they usually post one not realizing that is was turning some guys off.
DON’T post stand alone pictures of dogs or pets. Guys are not dating your pets. You’ll look like you prefer an animal over a man
DON’T post action shots of you on zip lines, running marathons or lifting weights. Men like women who act like women, not men. If you do all those things save it for your profile or a conversation.
Same as with the guys, DON’T wear sunglasses in every picture. When I see that I think that there must something wrong with her eyes. You can’t tell what a person looks like unless you can see their whole face including their eyes.
Same as guys, no boats, cars or houses. Many guys will be intimidated by a woman who appears too wealthy. If you’re a cougar then that might be the exception.
Same as guys, post pictures over a period of time
Different then guys, feel free to post as many pictures as you want. Guys are visual BUT be sure not to post any older than about 3 years
OPTIONAL: If you feel you have a hot body and want to show it, a bikini shot could be posted, BUT a lot of guys may see you as someone looking for a hookup
Now let’s get into your profile (match.com or POF).
Regardless if you are on match.com or POF, profiles should be geared toward what you are looking for right out of the gate. Something like “Before I even tell you about myself, let me tell you I’m looking for a committed relationship” or “I am recently single and am seeking a friendship that may lead to something more”
Next talk about your life. Something like “I am a working mom of 3 teenagers. I was married for 10 years and have been single for about a year” (length of time being single is a BIG FACTOR). Too short and you’ll look needy and too long you’ll look too independent. If you’re looking for a hookup then length of time is irrelevant
Next what you enjoy. Something like “I am very active and enjoy the beach, bike riding, etc” or “I work hard so I enjoy quiet evenings with a glass of wine at home watching Netflix”
Ladies only. Don’t EVER write something like “I am an independent woman who would like a relationship but doesn’t need a man in my life” We all can survive without someone else but if you look like a man is not important you will not get a good one, Trust me on this one. Have had this exact conversation on the phone with over 200 different women. Talk about affection `
Talk about family and religious beliefs. Many people are spiritual and want to hear about how important your faith is or not. Also, even more importantly, how do you feel about your family and kids. If you want someone to be a step parent to your kids then say you want someone who is good with kids.
Fitness – I am going to say something here that goes against conventional thinking. DON’T talk too much about your workout schedule, like you like the gym every day or fitness is a big deal. This may send a message that you are vain or self-centered. It is better discussed on the phone when you actually talk. Additionally, some people have changed their lives to a more active one or less active after they meet and get into a relationship. A safe bet is to not put it out in your profile like a possible deal breaker. The only exception is gym rats, you need another gym rat. Remember, your pictures will show how fit you are or not. And ladies no zip line, marathon or weight lifting pictures. Trust me on this.
Length of Profile (match.com or POF):
Ladies: If you don’t write much you will attract guys looking for hookups as you look like you are not taking the process very seriously.
Guys: You can get away with a short profile but you will need to send messages that talk a lot about who you are to get a woman to bite. It’s better to have a profile that talks about what you want and who you are.
DON’T write an encyclopedia. Long profiles will be read by very few people and will be a turn off. It also sends a message that you are not interested in talking because you are putting so much information out there up front. 300 – 500 words is a good length for a profile
DON’T talk about negative things like what you don’t want a guy to be like or what someone has done to you. Negativity will only attract negativity. The person that made you angry is not the one you are trying to attract. Don’t take out what someone did to you on the next person. Regardless of how you feel, a positive profile will attract more people.
So to recap, No short profiles, no encyclopedias, no negativity, talk about family, talk about religious beliefs and be very clear what you are looking for. I have read thousands of profiles on match.com and POF.
I have spoken to over 500 different women on the phone, met over 300 and read thousands of profiles. Follow the tips above and you’ll attract the people that are closer to what you seek.