Perhaps one of the most frequent conversations I seem to keep having with women, before we meet, is about being exclusive. So when is the right time to be exclusive with someone ?
With women seeming to want relationships more than men one would think that becoming exclusive would be something that they would want pretty quickly. Most do, but a surprising number don’t.
This seems to be connected to the whole independence thing that I have encountered with women who are professionals or want to feel they can get through life without a man and so on. I for one am not the biggest fan of independent women but certainly have sex with more of them. I know some people say its women have lots of bad experiences online, I agree with that too.
First let’s talk about exclusivity, the whole when you are just seeing one person. It seems to come down to, in my opinion and from experience, as to how serious the woman is to actually wanting a committed relationship. I know a lot of people and maybe even experts will disagree with this, but I’ll explain why I say this.
I start with the premise, how do you get to know one person fully if you’re focused on multiple people ? Long before it was so easy to meet people on dating apps and social media, it was very difficult to meet someone. The dating pool was limited to your friends and circles of your life. By default, when you did meet someone you were pretty much exclusive in the good old days.
Today with so many choices right at your finger tips, the option of dating multiple people is always there. What I can tell you is the guys who I know who are serious about a relationship are turned off by women who date multiple men. Who wants to compete with other guys for a women when there are so many choices ?
If you are serious about a real relationship doesn’t it make sense to just focus on one person at a time and see how it goes as opposed to seeing a bunch of people who you are really not focused on ?
I can tell you as a person who has been, and continues to be, with many women, the independent, non-exclusive women are generally not very loving. If you treat your dating life like a buffet restaurant its hard to even remember what you ate at the end of the meal. Just like multiple people, they all kind of blend together.
Now if your game is sex, then those independent, non-exclusive women seem to be quick to give it up as there is no real emotional attachment to the sex.
Someone who is really looking for that special someone places a lot of importance and significance on intimacy. This is also part of the reason why women get hurt and are vulnerable to men who are players, like me. Again, not proud of it but it is who I am.
The answer for both men and women as to when is the right time to be exclusive depends on if you are really serious about a relationship or not.
I have met many women who hid their profiles before we even met to show that they were serious about getting to know me. I would also say if someone doesn’t hide their profile after a good first date, at the latest, they’re probably not serious and that’s my kind of girl.
The best dating advice I can give any person who is serious about a relationship is go to a professional matchmaker or dating coach. They usually specialize in men or women. If their clients are men, then women usually get the services for free and vice versa. They will save you a lot of time and have a very high success rate.
Editors Note: Dating Addict stories are contributed to us on an anonymous basis and we express no opinion as to their content. Stories are edited.
