It happens more and more, you’re in a relationship and its over. You catch your breath, get over it and you’re back dating again. And now you’re dating again so when do you have sex ?
I read an interesting recent article from Ask Men that had a couple of “experts” weigh in along with some couples and their experiences. As you can imagine the answers as to when varied from the first date to many months.
If we use our own Dating Addict contributor as a point of reference, it seems many women are ok with the first date. However, a New York City dating coach sides along the lines of waiting months if you want a solid relationship.
From my own personal experience, my two longest relationships started with sex on the first and second dates.
Here is an interesting hypothetical question, what if you went the “let’s wait a long time and then have sex” route only to find out that the sex was awful for one of you ? I guess if you’re 60 or 70 maybe not as big of an issue as opposed to if you’re 30 or 40.
I’m not saying have sex right away just to see if the person is good in bed, but isn’t intimacy an important part of getting to know someone too ?
All I can say to those people who say don’t give it up till you know someone for a while, what’s the plan if the sex sucks after you waited ? Just accept it or do you feel like you just threw months away ?
I get the whole “we’ll talk through it, etc.” but what if one person likes oral sex and the other doesn’t. I have heard lots of women say they don’t like giving blow jobs, but I have heard even more men say they don’t like going down on a woman. What woman if given a choice between a guy who eats pussy and one who doesn’t would a woman take ?
Women who do find a guy who is cool with oral sex it seems can’t be with a man who doesn’t after that. Kind of like the once you had steak, ground beef doesn’t cut it anymore.
I am not trying to make this all about sex but let’s look at it from yet another perspective What is the #1 reason relationships end ? Its cheating of course. Do I need to play it out for you ? Something like, you meet someone who is cool with the oral sex you crave and your partner is not. Then what, threaten to break up if you don’t get the oral sex and one of you lives life with a gun to your head or just is miserable ?
Maybe that whole waiting a bunch of months is not quite what you thought it was. The answer to you’re dating again so when do you have sex ? May be as soon as you are really attracted and feel comfortable.
Time doesn’t seem like a big consideration when you look at the big picture.